When you want to go on holiday with your children after a divorce, it’s not as simple as booking the flights and packing your bags. There are more steps involved to ensure everyone is kept in the loop.
Holiday arrangements are a common reason for couples to land in family court, often looking for a reasonable compromise that keeps everyone happy. It’s also not uncommon for parents to have uncomfortable feelings about holidays, particularly if their ex is going away with a new partner.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if one parent is angry with the other parent. The law is clear on what is and what isn’t allowed. If in doubt, refer back to your original custody agreement to confirm where you stand. Here are some helpful tips to help you navigate holidays after divorce.
Know your rights
The rights of each parent will vary depending on which parent has custody. It all comes down to parental responsibility. The mother automatically has parental responsibility, unless they lose this right or willingly give this up. A father has parental responsibility if they are married to the mother at the time of the child’s birth, or if they are named on the birth certificate.
If your ex has parental responsibility and they disagree with your plans to take the child on holiday, they have the right to object. This means there is no consent, and if the child is taken on holiday anyway, this is classed as child abduction.
It’s helpful if you can agree how holidays will work when you are creating your child arrangement order.
What to do if your ex says no
If you share your holiday plans with your ex and they say they don’t agree and you can’t take the child on holiday, don’t panic. Ask for reasons they might object. If they have a prior family arrangement for the time when you were planning to go away, they might have a reasonable excuse for denying permission. In this case, you could compromise and agree to move the date.
If they cannot give a reason and they simply don’t want you to go, you can apply for an emergency family court injunction. This will confirm the holiday can go ahead and will prevent them from sabotaging the holiday.
Remember that the courts will always act in the best interests of the child, so as long as you aren’t planning a holiday to an active war zone, you should have no issue getting consent.
It’s not uncommon for exes to withhold a child’s passport when there is conflict. A court injunction will prevent them from ruining your plans unfairly. This can be a huge source of stress for parents.
Communication is key
If you have a healthy co-parenting arrangement, many disagreements can often be overcome by simply communicating effectively. Before you make solid plans for your holiday, let your ex partner know when you are hoping to go away. This can avoid disappointment if your trip clashes with existing plans such as a family wedding.
Always inform your ex before you inform your children. Your children will naturally be excited about the holiday, so it’s best to confirm everything is good to go before you let them know. This will also avoid the awkward situation of your children being the ones to excitedly tell your ex.
You should also be clear about your plans and avoid being too vague. Let them know when you are going and when you will return. You should also tell them where you’re going, where you’ll be staying and how you will get there. This can help to put your ex’s mind at ease and avoid unnecessary conflict borne from fear.
